The Digital Affair: Using Social Networking Websites To Cheat

Most of married people don’t realize that their spouses are cheating until it is too late. When you are married you are told to trust and honor your spouse but in this day and age cheating and affairs are taken to a new level.

It usually starts as something simple. A spouse joins a web site to stay in touch with friends, family or colleagues. You create profile that is usually mixed with truths, wants, needs and a touch of fantasy. It’s in our nature as humans to be accepted and have our presence felt. These online social networking sites give us the opportunity to read a vast audience with a little bit of effort.

Someone reads your profile and likes or relates with what you are going through. They think, wow this person is just like me. They post comments, join your bandwagon and then start learning more about you. As you learn about the other person you start regarding them as a friend. The more they read and hear the more praise you get. This praise feels good.

Once this trust is established the two of you let your guards down and talk more about stuff from your day-to-day life. It’s courteous to do so if you are a friend. It starts with little gif images of “Have a nice day” to “How did your day go?” messages. We all want someone who will listen.

As you get to know a person they graduate from posting comments, bulletins and move on to Private Messages. This is where things get sticky because you no longer have the world’s eyes or any boundaries to judge the content of your thoughts and words. It’s just you and them.

This is where most trouble, the adventure, and excitement begins. You continue writing as friends but then one day you wake up late a night, are feeling lonely and log in. Who is up and feeling lonely too? You guessed it your number one online friend. You talk for hours and you feel so comfortable that even more personal information spills out in black and white text. For true connections, there should be purchasing of the right followers. With a visit at site, real and genuine followers are delivered on the social media account of the person. It will make the profile looks attractive to the followers.

Many people start new lives online that make them forget about their real people in their lives. They start to change to reflect the person they are online. When they find someone who accepts this secret self they latch on to them and feel like no one understands them anymore.

The unknowing spouse tends not to give the time spent online any thought. They love you, they trust you, and feel you would never do anything inappropriate. Spouses believe that affairs and cheating only happen in the real world. Something as impersonal as the Internet can’t ruin their relationship. But it can.

Then the warning signs start to slowly or quickly appear:

  • Late or early night online sessions
  • Using their cell phones to access their online profiles
  • A profile that doesn’t match their true self
  • Passwords on everything
  • Correspondence that seems a bit too often
  • A noticeable change in behavior
  • A sense of happiness that is only seen when they are online.
  • Talk about their online friends more than their real friends.
  • Cutting off the monitor or shutting down when you are around

The last stage of this can include seeing messages, late calls at night and texts expressing their true feelings.

Most people who start an online affair don’t count it as cheating. They feel if they haven’t met the person in real life that it isn’t hurting anyone. They feel that this is the only person that understands them yet they are only dealing with a phantom. After all its just words.

That’s not true. Words can start, end, make or break a relationship. Written words expressed online can devastate a spouse if they are discovered.

The sad part is that most affairs that start online materialize into meeting the person face to face. It’s bringing another person into a relationship that shouldn’t be there.